Fuck. Shit. Grr.

I have been a tad mental lately. I am scared that my meeting with the psych has stirred up a lot of emotions and memories that I thought I had dealt with. Apparently, I have just suppressed them. This does not surprise me and probably not many people who know me.

I have been alternating between I-don't-give-a-fuck, furious-with-everyone-and-everything, hypersonic-and-hypersensitive, and I-wish-an-anvil-would-fall-from-a-tall-building-and-land-on-my-head. Couple this with working three 9 and a half hour days a week for a few weeks and we get someone who is not fun to be around.

Everyone I know is suffering. I have been incredibly mean and bitchy, and stressed. I have been alternating wildly between wanting to be alone and wanting to be with people. I have considered cutting and burning again, death, and leaving the state/ country.

I desperately want to quit my job but job hunting is stressful too. More so than staying at my current job. Also, I don't have any time. This is how they get you- make you work long hours and then you don't have time to look for a new job.

My puppy is suffering. I barely see him anymore. And it's the same with the Boy.

Currently, I feel like a horrible person.

That is all.