I am slightly euphoric now and have had a couple of good days (where I have not wanted to top myself. Jolly good!) and so he is keeping me on 150mg of Zoloft. Which in my completely professional opinion (ha!), was the absolutely right thing to do.
I have been euphoric for the last 36 hours and I cannot think of anything more satisfying than euphoria after months of depression. I am still of the opinion that this is my reaction to happiness after being depressed but I guess this is BPD. I am supposed to be meeting with someone to discuss entering a DBT program but this seems rather daunting.
My thoughts are racing, jumping from one thing to the next. I have that Simpsons episode in my head where Marge is pregnant with Lisa and Bart is running around the house with a pot on his head yelling "Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! Quiet!". Except my brain keeps changing the word 'quiet' to 'riot'. Nothing is going fast enough, nothing can keep up with me. But at the same time, my skin is tingling. It seems to have a life of it's own but it's a pleasant feeling. I just want to be touched. And held. And.. y'know..
I feel like a crazy girl right now.
Yeah i get the idea hahahahaha! It's great you're feeling great again. jut be watchful that you don't slip darl.
ReplyDeleteThis is the time to be sure you don't fall back to old negative habbits. If you can do that, then you should be on the right path.